Merry Christmas

From everyone here (well, just me) at Truculence is Everything, Merry Christmas (or whatever you celebrate). Enjoy it with your loved ones.


Random Thoughts

I apologize for the lack of updates around these parts. Things have popped up that have prevented me from updating this blog. With that said, I've got random thoughts:

- I do not understand what some people have against Luke Schenn. After last Thursday's loss to Boston, the doubts returned and the "Schenn to the AHL" "Trade Schenn" talk returned. Yes, he got a well deserved benching (3 games to be exact), and I feel he'll be fine. So let's not overreact about Luke Schenn and let the kid do what he does best: play some damn good defensive hockey.

- Leaf Haters. I don't get them. I don't understand why they take solace in going on Leaf articles and clogging up the comments with their little nursery rhymes of "Laffs" and "Leafs Suck" and "Plan the Parade". I don't understand why the hell they even bother doing this crap. I dislike the Habs and SNES, but I don't (or any Leaf fans that I know) go on their articles and write stupid comments about their team. Maybe they choose to spout their bullcrap because they know deep down, they love the Leafs. Also, these "Haters" simply want to fulfill their rather meaningless lives posting their pathetic drivel about the Leafs.

- Phil Kessel is awesome. That is all.

- Tough next two games against two teams we just can't seem to beat: the fackin' Buffalo Sabres and those goddamn Boston Bruins. Hopefully we kick their asses this weekend.

- Oh, forgot about Nazem Kadri making it to Team Canada for the 2010 World Juniors. MapleLeafs.com launched the "Naz Tracker", a stat tracker for our favorite Lebanese Maple Leaf. It's a bit overblown, but I'm not complaining. Anyways,s best of luck to Nazem at the World Juniors, let's hope he tears it up for Canada as they search for their sixth straight Gold medal.


Leaf of The Decade

You may have noticed a poll on the right side of the blog page, "Leaf of the Decade". I've been meaning to explain it all but I haven't had the time to, until now, that is. (Exams are hard)

It's been a hell of a decade for the Maple Leafs. From the highs, and the lows, it's been quite the ride. So I've decided to compile a poll to determine who is the "Leaf of the Decade". You have until January 1st 2010, midnight, to vote. With that in mind, here are your candidates:

Mats Sundin
What else can be said about one of the greatest Leaf captains of all time. Although the allure of Stanley has eluded Sundin, he's accomplished quite a bit in this decade, including 500 goals, and becoming the all time leading scorer for the Leafs.

Tomas Kaberle
The new millennium brought forth some great moments for Tomas Kaberle, and he continues to be one of the all-time great defensemen in Leaf history.

Darcy Tucker
Although he ain't wearing the Blue & White, you can't forget about the man who brought truculence to the Leafs night in & night out before we even heard that very word uttered. Who can forget Tucker jumping at the SNES bench and taking them all on? Or that time he crushed a New Jersey player in the '01 playoffs?

Gary Roberts
No. 7 for the Leafs played with heart in every shift during his tenure in Toronto, and it was his style of play that endeared him with Leaf fans.

Pavel Kubina
For the time he spent here in Toronto, Kubina was a decent defenseman, and could be counted on to score in clutch situations.

Luke Schenn
Yes, some of you may say it's too early for young Luke here to be even considered to be "Leaf of the Decade", but you cannot deny the immediate impact OLAS has made in the span of a season and a half with the Leafs. From destroying Malkin to opening up various cans of whoop-ass, No. 2 has become a fan favorite here for Leafs RAUP.

Jonas Gustavsson
The Monster is sure to make an impact as the years pass, but isn't it great to get some honest-to-goodness goaltending after so long? (No, Vesa Toskala doesn't count)

Ed Belfour
And speaking of goaltending, Eddie the Eagle's short run in Toronto, he was amazing (save for that post-lockout season), and could be considered the last of the great Leaf goaltenders of this decade.

Curtis Joseph
Cujo was the definite goaltender for the Leafs in this decade, and helped buoyed Toronto to healthy playoff runs in his prime. He returned to Toronto in 2008-09, and was decent, but he could not recreate the magic he once had with the Leafs.

It's your pick? A favorite Leaf has been "left off the ballot"? Pick Other! And don't forget to comment below and tell us who you voted for under "Other.

So those are your choices, Leafs RAUP. You have until January 1st @ Midnight to cast your votes. So make 'em count.



Welcome to Paradise, Philippe Paradis

As the sun sets on NSFW Jiri Tlusty (who will warn readers of NSFW content now!?), Leafs RAUP says hello to the new kid on the block, Philippe Paradis, and Mr. Paradis has some greetings for us Leafs fans, too.

Credit: Life.com/ROFLBot



Leafs Picture Comics #24: Centenni-Owned

The Toronto Maple Leafs: Crashing Pre-Game Ceremonies Since 2008

Credit: AP/Yahoo!


Leafs Picture Comics #23: Komisarek is Watching You

Komisarek: I know what you're thinking.
It's alright. I feel your pain.

Credit: Getty Images/Yahoo!


50th Post Spectacular, Part Two: Top 10 Post-Lockout Leafs Moments

To celebrate 50 51 posts here on this humble blog we call Truculence is Everything, I've compiled some of my personal favorite 10 Leafs moments from the post-lockout era. Yeah, the Leafs haven't reached the playoffs yet, but damn it, the ride's been enjoyable as all hell.

10. The Schenn Shootout Goal - 9/29/08
Leafs fans got a glimpse of how awesome Luke Schenn was thanks to his nifty shootout goal from a preseason game against St. Louis. Watch as he backhands his way into our hearts...

9. Belak Kicks Cam Janssen's Ass - 3/20/07
The Leafs defeated the New Jersey Devils 2-1 that night, but the highlight was watching Wade Belak kick the crap out of Cam Janssen for his dirty-as-hell hit on Tomas Kaberle in an earlier Leafs/Devils game.

8. Gustavsson Saves - 10/26/09
Mired in a crappy season (that's still in progress), Jonas Gustavsson gives us Leafs fans something to cheer about with some great stops against Anaheim. Eventually, he helped the Leafs to their first win of the season.

7. Mark Bell Crushes Alfie - 4/03/08
It's always awesome to see a SNES player getting his bell (pun intended) rung. And seeing Bell just destroy Daniel Alfredsson like it was nothing is just great to see.

6.Leafs Sign Phil Kessel - 9/19/09
The Leafs pull the trigger and sign a hell of a sniper in Phil Kessel. The Leafs gave up two first rounders for the trade, but damnit, Kessel has been worth the trouble. He's an awesome "Hackee" player.

5. The Comeback Kids - 11/01/09
Down 2-0 to the New York Rangers, the Maple Leafs, led by John F---ing Mitchell, pour it on with 5 unanswered third period goals (including JFM's first two NHL goals) and stun the Rangers and Steve Valiquette with a comeback victory. Keep in mind, prior to this game, Valiquette had some success against the Leafs, which makes this victory that much sweeter.

4. Ron Wilson Verbally PWNS Howard Berger - 3/10/09
After calling for a stick measurement in hotly contested game between the Leafs & SNES, Coach Wilson gets a dumbass comment from Berger and, uh, I'll let the video speak for itself:

3. Mats Sundin Scores No. 500 - 11/29/08
No.13 sets a milestone in the only way he knows best, in a huge way. Already with two goals on the evening, Sundin let loose a slaphsot from the point at 1:50 of the overtime period to win it for the Leafs, and subsequently, his 500th career NHL goal.

2. Luke Schenn Destroys Malkin & Kennedy - 1/31/09
Good lord, was this ever a moment. Luke Schenn puts an exclamation point on Doug Gilmour Night with his two finest moments in his young NHL career. If people are a little down on Schenn right now this season, just show them this video and remind them of how awesome he can be...

1. Mats Sundin Returns to Toronto - 2/21/09
Truly an emotional moment for all Leaf fans, as former captain Mats Sundin made his return to Toronto, wearing the Blue & Green of the Vancouver Canucks. And, of course, in true Sundin fashion, he capped off his return by scoring the deciding goal in the shootout, giving his new team the win. It's only fitting that this takes number one, as it signified the end of an era for the Maple Leafs.


Leafs Picture Comics #22: 50th Post Spectacular!

Me? Poni? I score!

P. Kessel: Time for a Kessel Run, in less tha
n 15 seconds, goals baby!

Yep. Hagman is still awesome.
Grabovski: Damn straight!

The Leafs@Panthers game in three pictures.

Credit: Getty Images/Yahoo!


Leafs Picture Comics #21: Niklas Hagman is Awesome

If you look closely, you can see a bit of smoke emanating from the net, 'cause Niklas Hagman is on FI-YAH!

Credit: AP/Yahoo!


Leafs' Night Out: A Fight At The Movies (NSFW)

NSFW Jiri Tlusty sez:
May contain NSFW Language, mmkay?

Note: The following is intended for parody purposes only. I do not personally know Luke Schenn, Matt Stajan (and his girlfriend/wife), John Mitchell, or the stars of Twilight.

- The Maple Leafs Penthouse, Thursday night -

Luke Schenn's Apartment, Room 1102
*Schenn and John Mitchell are playing an intense game of NHL 10*
Mitchell: 30 seconds, Luke. Time's running out for ya...HEY!
Schenn: Shut it, Mitchell. This is for taking me out in the second!
*The onscreen characters are pushing each other after the whistle*
*Mitchell gives Schenn a little shove and proceeds to take the controller from him.*
Schenn: Jesus, Mitch, you are by far, the biggest sore loser I've ever come acr---
*Matt Stajan walks into the room, holding movie tickets*
Stajan: Guys, my wife got tickets for that stupid New Moon movie coming out, but they accidently got four, rather than two. And I need you guys to come wit---
Schenn: Don't you dare finish that sentence, buddy. I am not, under any sort of circumstance gonna see that stupid vampire shit.
Mitchell: Yeah, what the rookie---
Schenn: Sophomore!
Mitchell: Whatever, what Luke said.
Stajan: Come on, it'll be a good group bonding experience for us!
Schenn: Yeah, watching some pansy of a vampire make love with a moody girl, that's "group bonding".
Stajan: Like it or not, boys, you're coming. Now go! I promise we'll go for a drink after this so that we'll forget that we ever went to see this shitty movie.
Mitchell: Deal!
Schenn: Hey, wait I nev---
- Stajan leaves the door, and Mitchell does too, restraining Schenn from doing otherwise -

- sitting at the theatre, Mitchell, Stajan, & Schenn ramble while watching the new Twilight film, New Moon -

Schenn: Pfft. I could get that chick to fall in love with me and get pregnant at the same time just by looking at her.
Mitchell: Here you go again, bragging about your fucking special abilities and all that bullshit.
Schenn: Come on, I could kick Mr. Pretty-Boy Cullen's ass there. And his Werewolf friend, too, who strangely looks like Sidney Crosby...
Stajan: Luke, John, shut the hell up! People are watching! *mutters to girlfriend* Yeah, my friends are----
Girlfriend: *eyes glowing* They're weird, Matt. Are they always like this?
Stajan: Nn----

Patron: Quiet!
Patron #2: Yeah, shut up there!

Stajan: Schenner, Mitch, you guys oughta shut up, people are….
Schenn: Oh come on, I could take all of them on in my sleep.
Mitchell: Hush down there, Schenny-boy, you think you're tough?
Schenn: Oh hell yeah.
Stajan: *facepalms* Oh, brother.

- Just then, a hooded man spots the bickering Leaf players and approaches Schenn -

Man: Could you repeat what you said earlier? Something about "kicking Mr. Pretty-Boy Cullen's ass"?
Schenn: Yeah, that was me! And what are you going to do about it!?
Stajan: Please don't mind my angered friend here, he's just mad about being forced to watch this fi---
- The hooded man un-hoods to reveal Edward Cullen himself, Robert Pattinson -
Schenn: You bastard! *Pattinson punches Schenn in the face*
Pattinson: I believe you get this too...*Punches Mitchell in the face*
*Schenn immediately tackles Pattinson, sending him crashing to a vacated seat*
Schenn: Time to give you an ass-kicking, Saskatoon style!
*Schenn goes to work on Pattinson, punching the crap outta him, when an anonymous person waffles Schenn with a weapon of some sort*
Mitchell: Whoever you are, you're mine! *Mitchell charges the unidentified man, and proceeds to attack him.*
Stajan: *watches on in horror* Damn it, you two. I just wanted a nice date with my girlfr--- *notices his girlfriend gone* WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GO?!
*Stajan's girlfriend is swooning over Pattinson, who is standing atop Schenn's lifeless form*
Pattinson: *eyes glowing* Yesssssss.........you know you want me. All the girls want some of Edward Cu----*Gets knocked over by a recovering Schenn*
Schenn: You evil, evil sonofabitch. I always knew there was something rotten behind that pale smile of yours. Now, where was I? *Continues to beatdown Pattinson*
*The theatre erupts into mass hysteria, as the slugfest continues, with patrons screaming and heading for the exits*
Mitchell: Get your fuckin' ass up, bitch, so I can kick it! *Picks up masked man, accidently unmasking him*
Man: Surprised to see me? *Headbutts Mitchell* Get up, punk, so Taylor Lautner can beat the crap outta you, son! *Morphs into wolf, and readies to maul Mitchell*
Mitchell: Fuck you, you Sidney Crosby look-a-like piece of shit! *kicks Wolf-Lautner in the crotch*

- Meanwhile, back at Schenn fighting off the newly-powered Robert Pattinson -

*Pattinson shoots out lightning bolts from his eyes, but misses Schenn*
Schenn: I don't know why the hell anyone even bothers watching your crappy movies under their own free will, but I can now see why, you vile asshole.
Pattinson: I have no idea where you come from, but when I'm done with you, you're not coming back to wherever the hell yo--- *Schenn kicks Pattinson in the gut, and eats uppercut*
Schenn: For all the sane people who can't stand this Twilight shit, *rips out a seat and inches towards a prone Pattinson*, YOU CAN GO TO HELL, YOU BASTARD!
*Schenn crushes Pattinson with the theatre seat, causing the Twilight star to bleed profusely*
Schenn: And that's why they call me "The Human Eraser", buddy.
*Stajan's girlfriend collapses, as she is free from Pattinson's hypnotizing spell*

*At the same time, Mitchell finishes off Taylor Lautner, taking him down with a tranquilizer round marked "L. Schenn"*
Mitchell: Thanks a-fuckin'-lot, Lautner. I was gonna use that on Mr. Human Eraser....

- Moments later, the police arrive, and patrons and ushers alike are trying to recover after the extraordinary events that have transpired before their very eyes -

Officer: Is there a "Luke Schenn" and a "John Mitchell" in attendance?
*Mitchell pushes Schenn towards the officer, and hides behind him*
Mitchell: *imitating Schenn* Uh, yeah, I'm here.
Schenn: Damnit, John. *turns to Officer* Yessir?
Officer: You guys are under arrest for disturbing the peace, and attempted assault. You're coming downtown with us, so you can think about your actions and wake-up, wakeupwakeupwakeup......

- The movie theatre, New Moon finished, theatre completely empty, save for Stajan, his girlfriend, Schenn, & Mitchell, who are just waking up from a sleep -

Stajan: *wakes up Schenn* You and *sarcastically* John Fuckin' Mitchell slept through the entire movie, congratulations, Luke.
Schenn: The movie was boring. *Mitchell interjects: YEAH!*
Girlfriend: Are your friends always this weird?
Stajan: You don't know the half of it, girl. Now, let's go get drunk, so we can forget this ever happened.
*Schenn & Mitchell once again begin bickering as they leave their seats, while Stajan and his girlfriend follow suit, sharing a chat*

Leafs Picture Comics #20: It's A Bromance

Islander Player #1: I love you too, bro.
Islander Player #2: Me too, homie. Let's hug!
Grabovski: Jeez, get a room, you two! I'm going back to play hockey.
Isles Player #1: Shaddup! Stop hatin' on us!

Credit: Getty Images/Yahoo!


Leafs Week in Review #2

Another week in Leafs Nation has passed, and it's time for another edition of Leafs Week in Review. In three games, the Leafs ended up even with a 1-1-1 record, and more calls to make sweeping changes with only four wins in 20 games.

1-1-1 (3 pts)
8 Goals For, 11 Goals Against

A Collapsing Moment: In Thursday's game against Carolina, the Leafs blew a 3-0 lead, then a 5-4 lead and went on to lose to the Whalers 'Canes, 6-5 in the shootout. The less said about the "intent to blow" and the "phantom high-stick" debacle, the better.

Same Old Song & Dance: Again, the struggles continue for Luke Schenn. In Tuesday's game, he fought Chris "World Class Pussy" Neil, and was a marked man all night by the Senators players. He was eventually benched for (nearly) the entirety of the third period. On Friday, he had a season low 9:20 of ice time. What is going on? I have decided not to talk about the whole Schenn sophomore slump thing for the time being, to prevent myself from being a broken record.

Toska-WHA!? Part Two: Vesa Toskala again had a great week, keeping the Leafs alive with a decent effort in a losing cause against Ottawa, and completely stealing the show on Saturday against Washington. Toskala stopped 30 of 31 shots and stopped two Capitals shooters in the shootout to give the Leafs their fourth win of the season.

Vesa Toskala - In two starts this week, the Finnish netminder was solid, earning him another spot in the Three Stars of the Week.

Niklas Hagman - He scored the goal that gave the Leafs a temporary lead against the SNES on Tuesday. Hagman also scored the tying goal against Washington, and eventually went on and won the shootout for the Leafs.

Ian White - Scored the (temporary) go-ahead goal against Carolina, after being screwed over with a four-minute high-sticking penalty by the officials.

Honorable Mention: Francois Beauchemin - Was tasked to keep an eye on Alexander Ovechkin on Saturday, and kept the explosive Caps forward to a goal. He led all Leafs players with a total of 27:12 worth of ice-time.

Next up for the Blue & White (4-11-6) are games against John Tavares & the New York Islanders (TONIGHT!), the Tampa Bay Lightning (Wednesday), and the Florida Panthers (Friday). Oddly enough, there will be no Saturday game for the Leafs this week.



What The Hell Is Going On With Luke Schenn?

We never thought we'd see this happen, Leaf Nation.
Credit: Ottawa Citzen

Leafs Nation, I am baffled. If there's one player whose struggles pretty much epitomizes the Leafs' current predicament, it's last season's golden boy, Luke Schenn. (Editor's Note: Man, is it just me, or have I been talking about him a lot lately? Just a thought.) I don't know if it's an issue of confidence or as ex-Leaf Gary Roberts put it, "poor training regiment", but something is up. On Tuesday against Ottawa, Schenn was benched for (almost) the entirety of the third, though he did figure into Ottawa's game-winner that night. In last night's debacle of a game against Carolina, Schenn posted a 9:26 total of ice time, and only had 5 shifts. He then got thrown into a crucial PK that failed, and might I add, he was "cold", due to his miniscule ice time?

So, what's the solution to this supposed "crisis"? Should we send Schenn down to the Marlies? Is a night or two in the press box necessary? By sending him down to the Marlies, he could dominate at the AHL level and develop his game. Then again, it might have unknown effects. Press box time, in my opinion, is the best way to go. However, Wilson/Burke need not treat Schenn's potential healthy scratching not as a punishment, but as a time to reflect on what he's doing wrong, and help him fire up his game.

Look, I'll still be a fan of Schenn no matter what happens next, but in order to for him to get better, he needs to spend some time in the press box. I know that the media and the blowhards will be spinning this to no end, but it's time to do something drastic in order to bring back the Luke Schenn of last season. Maybe a press box visit is this drastic measure. All I'm saying, is that underplaying Schenn then throwing him into the fire for a PK, then sitting him again ain't gonna help.

What say you, Leafs Nation? Post comments and suggestions on what to do with Schenn below.


Leafs 5, 'Canes 6: A Video Says A Thousand Words

Refs Screwing Over The Leafs. The Tradition Continues.

Jefflered on YouTube

Leafs Picture Comics #18: BLARGH

Orr: I'm not listening to your crap, no way.
Orr: No. Go watch NASCAR or something.
Carolina Player: Jerk.


Leafs Picture Comics #17: ORR SMASH

Ottawa Player: I'm runnin', runnin'....

Credit: AP/Yahoo!

Post Game Report: SNES 3, Leafs 2

A coward at work.

Credit: AP/Yahoo!

Angry Tuesdays
are back! It seems to me, that these Tuesday Leaf games bring another target of rage every single week. This week, it's that gutless scumhole Chris Neil of the Ottawa Senators. Leafs Nation, before we get to what's got me all riled up this week, here's a summary of the game. Mike Fisher scored two and Pascal Leclaire made 30 stops to help the SNES to a 3-2 win over our Leafs. Phil (The Thrill) Kessel and Niklas Hagman replied for the good guys.

And now, what's got me all pissed off and such tonight: Chris Neil. The so-called Senators "tough-guy" took it upon himself to blindside Luke Schenn with a hit. Then after that, he gave Schenn a crosscheck to the noggin, when he was prone. All of this, coming when Colton Orr was in the box after throughly kicking the ass of SNES plugger Matt Carkner. The gall and cowardice of Neil to check an opponent when they're down, is just downright classless. Then again, I'm not surprised that Neil would resort to such dirty tactics. As far as I'm concerned, Chris Neil is a f---ing pussy. Plain and simple.

Movin' on, the reason the Leafs lost tonight: They didn't capitalize on some juicy rebounds that Leclaire left. They also didn't go to the net as much as they needed to. They also once again made the opposing teams goalie look better than they actually are. That is simply not acceptable.

All in all, A pretty physical game that didn't end in the Leafs favor. Next action for Toronto is Thursday when they face the Carolina Hurricanes.


A Teaser of Things to Come...

- sitting at the theatre, Mitchell, Stajan, & Schenn discuss the new Twilight film, New Moon -

Mitchell: Is it just me, or does Edward guy seem a bit too much of a pussy to be a vampire?
Schenn: You f—-ing said it, Johnny!
Mitchell: Luke, I do the f—-ing swearing here, so shut it.

Patron: Quiet!
Patron #2: Yeah, shut up there!

Stajan: Schenner, Mitch, you guys oughta shut up, people are….
Schenn: Oh come on, I could take all of them on in my sleep.
Mitchell: Hush down there, Schenny-boy, you think you're tough?
Schenn: Oh hell yeah.
Stajan: *facepalms* Oh, brother.

What circumstances has brought our Maple Leaf heroes to the movies? What hijinx will the three of them get into? Find out, in three (or four!) short days!


Leafs Week in Review #1

“Hey Patrick, I have some spare change for ya”
Ron Wilson, in response to Patrick Kane's cabbie encounter

Welcome to a new feature here on Truculence is Everything, "Leafs Week in Review", in which I take a look back at the week that was in Leafs Nation. It was a bad week for the Blue & White, as they didn't post a single win in 3 games this week, and had their eight-game point streak broken with a 5-2 loss to Minnesota this past Tuesday.

0-3-0 (0pts)
6 Goals For, 13 Goals Against

Luke Schenn's Struggles: It's been well documented that Leafs Nation's golden boy is going through a bit of a struggle, or a sophomore slump if you will. And it all came to a head on Friday, when against the Chicago Blackhawks, Schenn was posterized by Chicago's Patrick Kane, turning the puck over to the Chicago star, leading to the game's first goal. However, Schenn bounced back the following night against Calgary, being paired with recently called up defenseman Carl Gunnarsson.

Komisarek Out 3 Weeks: The Leafs suffered a huge blow when it was announced that Mike Komisarek would be out for three weeks due to a tear in his quadraceps. Komisarek originally injured himself in last Saturday's 5-1 win against Detroit, and had to leave Tuesday's game after posting a mere 2:37 in ice-time.

Shoot To Thrill, Phil: Newly-acquired Leafs forward Phil Kessel was certainly shooting the lights out this past week, notching 3 goals, and an assist in 3 games. The 21-year old sniper scored Tuesday against Minnesota on a breakaway goal, that gave the Leafs a bit of a chance. He also scored a pair on Friday against the 'Hawks, and would've nearly stolen the game for Toronto. Needless to say, he's producing.

Toska-WHA!?: Leafs Nation's whipping boy Vesa Toskala made his first start since Oct. 31st and had a (shockingly) good game against Chicago this past Friday, stopping 31 shots out of 34. And even then, the goals that Toskala let by him were not of the sort that Leaf fans have derided him for.

O RLY?: Leafs goaltender Jonas "The Monster" Gustavsson was surprisingly pulled on Saturday after allowing 3 quick goals on 5 shots early on against Calgary.

Phil Kessel: A 3 goal, 1 assist week in three games for Phil the Thrill, plus he's currently riding on a 5 game point streak.

Vesa Toskala: Looked good on Friday against Chicago, and did his best against Calgary on Saturday, allowing only two goals on the evening.

Carl Gunnarsson: Made his Leafs (and NHL) debut in Saturday's loss against Calgary, and looked good all game long alongside Luke Schenn.

Next up for Toronto (3-10-5), are two road dates against the Ottawa Senators (Tuesday) and the Carolina Hurricanes (Thursday). The Leafs then return home to the ACC to host Alex Ovechkin and the Washington Capitals (Saturday).


Leafs Picture Comics #16: Bizarro World

Gustavsson: I just dreamt that I let in 3 goals against the Calgary Flames...That wasn't a dream? Oh...crap.

Credit: Getty Images/Yahoo!


Leafs Picture Comics #15: The Beauch vs. 20 Cent

Beauchemin: You know what you did wrong, mister. Now go apologize to that cabbie.
Kane: You ain't takin' me alive, homeslice!
Beauchemin: Why the hell are you talking like some damn rapper?
Kane: Everyone's against me.

Credit: Getty Images/Yahoo!


A Friendly Letter to Luke Schenn (NSFW?)

Slightly NSFW John F---ing Mitchell sez:
May contain NSFW language!

Dear Luke,

Hi! Long-time fan, (Since last season...) first time letter-sending person. I'm not here to yell at you or call you a bust for not playing up to your ability. And don't worry, this letter won't be as angry (or negative) as my other letters.

Let's get things straight, Luke. You're not playing to your ability. How? You're not hitting people, you're getting beat, getting caught flat-footed, and uncharacteristically falling down everywhere on the ice. And everyone's saying that you're on one of those damn sophomore slumps I keep hearing about. I also hear that you're allegedly playing injured. I say that's bullshit. You're not hurt, your confidence is just rattled, is all. And I don't blame you. However, I (as well as the Leafs Nation) cannot live with the fact that our golden boy, our future, the face of the Toronto Maple Leafs, is going to struggle all season long. With Mike Komisarek out for 3-4 weeks, it's time for the "old" Luke Schenn to re-assert himself and kick ass and take names. As the face of the franchise, it's time to take action.

We're one of the worst teams in the NHL, the whole damn league can't stop laughing at us, and it's time to do something about it, this "something", it's starts with you, Luke.

So goddamnit, Luke, start playing with that confidence and physical force that you willingly showed Leaf Nation last season. The very same confidence that made Leaf fans everywhere fall in love with you in the first place. I know you still have it in you, Luke, so unleash that fucking rage on Chicago this Friday, and don't let up, ever. We still believe, now make us proud.

Kavel Pubina

P.S.: No pressure, kid, just work your magic.


Non-Leaf Chatter: How Hockey Salutes The Troops

Today is Remembrance Day (and Veterans day in the United States), a day in which we honour the brave contributions that those in service have made to the free world. The NHL is no stranger to saluting our fighting men and women, and here is a look at how they're doing their part.

Lets start off with the Montreal Canadiens (yes, yes, I know...), and TSN.ca brings us this report on the Habs contributions to the troops:
The Montreal Canadiens also paid tribute to Canada's soldiers on Tuesday and two of their best-known players - Carey Price and Mike Cammalleri - extended a special thank you with their own his personal initiatives In a program called 'Cammy's Heroes,' Cammalleri donated tickets to 21 Canadiens home games for Quebec soldiers and armed forces members.

"I really appreciate the men and women, and what they do for all of us" explained Cammalleri. "We can live the lives we do because of what they do for us."

Price will honour Canadian and NATO troops by planning to wear a special Remembrance Day mask this week, which he will later donate to a veterans-related charity.
For all the slagging and dissing that goes Cammalleri and Price's way, Their respective initiatives to support the troops are welcomed and saluted.

From that same TSN.ca article, the Ottawa Senators teamed up with Veterans Affairs Canada to pay homage to Canada's Veterans, which is highlited in this video:

The Boston Bruins's Mark Stuart has bought over $5k worth of tickets for American military personnel for tomorrow's Bruins home game against the Florida Panthers:
STU SUPPORTS TROOPS: In conjunction with Military Appreciation Night on November 12, Bruins defenseman Mark Stuart has purchased $5,000 worth of tickets to the Bruins/Panthers game on November 12 and will donate them to local servicemen and women and their families. Fans can follow Stuart’s lead and support the Bruins “Seats for Soldiers” program online - as well as get more information on Military Appreciation Night - at www.bostonbruins.com.
(glove tap to The Hockey Blog Adventure's Cornelius Hardenbergh for the tip)

Here at home, the Maple Leafs honoured Canada's Veterans last night with a stirring pre-game ceremony, which included a reading of "In Flanders Fields" by Maple Leafs legend and veteran soldier Johnny Bower. Also of note from the Leafs, is this:

Fan-favorite Leaf defenceman Luke Schenn has been doing the "Luke's Troops" promotion since last season. Discounting any of his supposed "sophomore slumps" or any such thing, the fact that a 19-year old (at the time of the inception of the program) would do this, is pretty impressive.

Lastly, let's end on probably the biggest supporter of our armed forces in all of hockey: Don Cherry. Viewers of Hockey Night in Canada are well-versed in Cherry's weekly segment "Coaches' Corner", and are probably aware of his weekly tributes to fallen Canadian military heroes. To end our look at the NHL's contribution to saluting the troops, I bring you his latest homage to our Canadian Forces:


Post Game Report: Wild 5, Leafs 2


Credit: Getty Images/Yahoo!

Leafs Nation. I'll keep this short and sweet without exploding with rage (Exploding in 3, 2.....). The Minnesota North Stars Wild, led by Mikku "Not Saku" Koivu's 3-point night beat our beloved Maple Leafs 5-2 (with empty net goal scored by Owen "He's Still Here?" Nolan). A flat (Flat as a pancake?) game from the good guys and the North Stars Wild made the Leafs pay for their flat game. More bad news for the Leafs is that Mike Komisarek left the game early on in the first after an undisclosed lower injury (which might stem back to Saturday's game against the Red Wings) To sum it all up, a terrible effort from the Leafs, they need to rectify it and start winning at home.

Leafs Picture Comics #14: Where The "Wild" Things Are

Orr: What's that smell....?
Boogaard: What's that smell?

Looks like the score wasn't the only thing that was running wild.

Credit: Getty Images/Yahoo!


Leafs Picture Comics #13: IS PAЯTY NOW

Finger: If there was only one song that fits the mood right now...
Stempniak: I've got it right here!
Red Wings Player: Get a room!

Credit: Getty Images/Yahoo!


A Letter to The Leafs Marketing Guys (NSFW)

NSFW Jiri Tlusty sez:
May contain NSFW Language, mmkay?

Dear Leafs Marketing People,

I (and the entire Barilkosphere) have a problem with this "Canada's Team" song:

This song is just plain fucking terrible. Seriously, it's a fucking failure of an anthem for the Leafs. It's arrogant, condescending, obnoxious, and leaves a terrible impression of Leafs Nation towards everyone. I am a Leafs fan, but we are not Canada's team. That's reserved for Team Canada. (Suck it, "Canadiens" and "Canucks" fans) Seriously, this shitty-ass song sucks so much ass. I don't need to fucking hear it at every Leaf game on Sportsnet or LeafsTV, it just make those tough losses even more shittier when I have to hear this assault on my fucking ear-drums. Whenever I hear "OH-WHOA-OH THIS IS CANADA'S SONG....", it makes me want to grab the goddamn mute button. (Better yet, a hammer, saves the trouble of tuning into crappy games)

On behalf of Leafs Nation, and the Barilkosphere. Get rid of this damn song. Right. Fucking. Now. Seriously. Comprende, MLSE Marketing People? KTHXBye.


Kavel Pubina


Non-Leafs Chatter: OHL Hit From Behind @ Kitchener/Erie Game

Allow me to go off-topic here to deal with something that has been making the rounds today. Erie Otters player Michael Liambas was suspended for the rest of the season (and the playoffs, if the Otters were to make it) by the Ontario Hockey League for this hit on the Kitchener Rangers' Ben Fanelli this past Saturday. Fanelli laid unconscious after the hit and was taken to a nearby hospital, and was listed at serious but stable condition.

While there are many people debating on whether the suspension was too hard or not, or if the hit that caused the controversy was clean or dirty, I have to honestly say that any discussion as it pertain's to the OHL's decision on Liambas or the nature of his hit on Fanelli should be thrown out the window. This is not the National Hockey League. These aren't world-class athletes. They are just kids, aged 16-18, most of whom attend high school during off days. They have lives, and friends, and family outside the rinks. Frankly, this has gone beyond a matter of Fanelli's hockey career, it's now a matter of whether he can live a normal life again after this traumatizing experience. Mind you, Fanelli is still 16 years old, and his body hasn't fully developed yet, meaning that this serious head injury may have major, major repercussions for him in the future.

As for the offender in all of this, Liambas was noted to be a "selfless contributor to and very involved with local charities in the Erie area in his time with the Otters" and an "A-Plus student". Liambas also expressed regret in causing Fanelli's injury, and probably didn't mean to injure Fanelli.

Now I'm all for hitting and truculence and so on, but there is a certain line that needs to be made in these types of situations. The Canadian Hockey League needs to create measures and initiatives that will prevent any future incidents such as this. Yes, OHL Commissioner David Branch may have over-reacted on this, or he probably made the right call on this, but keep in mind: We aren't talking about the NHL here. My fondest wishes to Ben Fanelli for a speedy recovery, and condolences to his family.

A Call To Action: Vote Kadri for Team OHL Captain

Do Your Part, Leafs Nation! Vote Kadri.

The Ontario Hockey League currently has a poll up on their official website, which asks fans to vote the team captain for Team OHL during the 2009 Subway Super Series (alliterations are fun.), which features Canadian Hockey League prospects facing off against the best Russian prospects. And one of our own is a poll choice, Leafs Nation. That's right, Nazem Kadri, Leafs prospect (and all-around great guy), is currently leading the pack with 34%, and Windsor's Ryan Ellis isn't far behind with 31%.

PensionPlanPuppets.com member blurr1974 has given out the call to Leafs Nation right here:
To the right of the standings on the OHL page, there is a poll for the captaincy of the Team OHL in the Subway Super Series (whatever that is...)

Go there now and show your support for the Leafs own Nazem Kadri.

With that in mind, I am here to help spread the word to Leaf fans. So Leafs Nation, go to ontariohockeyleague.com and cast your vote for Kadri. Together, we can have Leaf Nation well represented at the Subway Super Series.


Post Game Report: Bolts 2, Leafs 1

Cheaters, apparently, do prosper.

Credit: AP/Yahoo!

Leafs Nation, I am in complete and utter rage. The Leafs once again run into a Roberto Luongo-esque goalie (not that Antero Niitymaki is any good, but...) and get screwed over by the referees in a 2-1 overtime loss to the Tampa Bay Lightning.

But that tainted goal wasn't the only big story of the game. Phil Kessel made his long-awaited Leafs debut. Overall, I'd say he had a good night. Sure he didn't net one, but the scoring will come soon enough. However, Bolts defender (and Canucks reject) Mattias Ohlund took out Kessel with a hard (borderline dirty) hit during the first period. Fortunately, Kessel was a-okay and was a dangerous offensive threat all night, getting numerous scoring chances.

But back to the game-winning goal that has me all steamed. Ryan (Not good enough for Sidney Crosby) Malone clearly interfered with Leafs goaltender Jonas Gustavsson on the GWG. Malone friggin' pushed Gustavsson over. Seriously. He friggin' pushed the goaltender over with his goddamn stick. With that in mind, I have only one question: HOW IN THE HELL WAS THAT NOT GOALTENDER INTERFERENCE!? However, we wouldn't be in this predicament if Matt Stajan had covered his man. He was nowhere to be found on Malone's cheap-as-hell game winning goal. Get your frickin' game together, son. On another note, the Leafs need to finish on their offensive chances. Had the Leafs potted the many (and great) chances we had against Niitymaki, the rage that we are all feeling against the referees would've been replaced joy and adulation for the Blue & White.

Nation, I'll just end it here before I collapse in anger. Next game is Friday against the Carolina Hurricanes, then a Saturday night tilt with the fizzling Detroit Red Wings. Hopefully, the Leafs look past tonight's ugly end, and start to win games and finish their offensive attack.

Leafs Picture Comics #11: Beware The Puck

St. Louis: AAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! GET IT AWAY!!!! GET IT AWAY!!!!!

Credit: AP/Yahoo!


Have A Happy Birthday, Luke Schenn

Truculence is Everything now presents you:
A Birthday Salute To A Hero

Hi, I'm Kavel Pubina, Junior Director of Anti-Bandwagoning at PPP Amalgamated Heavy Industries. Leafs Nation, by the time you read this, it will already be Monday, November 2nd, 2009, or better yet: The Birth of Leafs Nation's Native Son, Our Luke and Saviour himself, Mr. Luke Schenn.

Now I know, it's been a tough season for us and our homeboy Schenn. But now is not the time to be depressed and look at the negatives. We've seen OLAS perform miracles and erasing the haters. Yes, it's been a struggle for our man, (as well as for the entire team, save for Kaberle, but that's another story for another time.), but damn it, he will soldier on, just like we as Leaf fans should. That's why we fell in love with Schenn in the first place (that and he's f--ing handsome, just ask Archimedies.) Because he represents what the Maple Leafs are all about: Heart, and Leadership.

On the behalf of the entire Barilkosphere, Luke, we wish you a most joyous and happy 20th birthday. Keep erasin' the noobs, Schenner, and we'll keep cheering (and gushing) over you.

"Is that a smile on your face, or are you happy to see me?"


Leafs Picture Comics #10: Habs Halloween Hijinks

Mitchell: It's "Trick Or Treat, Smell My Feet", not "Hand"!

Credit: AP/Yahoo!

Happy Halloween From Truculence is Everything.


Leafs Picture Comics #9: Hangin' Out With XLB

Exelby: Woahh....that puck is crazay, man
Connoly: It's so round....that I can see everything.
Exelby: Yeaahhh..... I can see Russia from here!!!!!!
Connoly: Whoahhhh....the puck just told me to have sex with it....
Exelby: We've really got to stop getting high before the game.

Credit: Getty Images/Yahoo!

A Letter to Keswick Lee (NSFW)

NSFW Jiri Tlusty sez: May contain NSFW Language, mmkay?

Hey Keswick Lee,

How's it goin', Lee? How do you like the Dallas Stars? Hope you enjoy them, because you remind me of a certain player from there, y'know, Mike, big diver and shit. (Olympic-class diver) Well, Lee, I'm just writing to say one thing, and one thing only: Fuck off.

"I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!!! I have never seen the Stanley Cup come to Toronto (unless it is in the Hall of Fame) and the future looks just as bleak!! I can take losing (and actually cheer for it) if I think that it may benefit the team in the future. WELL with no first or second round pick in 2010 and no 2011 first round pick (yes you are welcome Boston) and VERY little on the way of prospects in system...it is time for me to bail. So I am putting my allegiance up for the highest bidder...just like the over paid underproducing Leaf free agents. I will remove all Leaf Memorablia from my home and replace it with the team of choice of the winning bidder. I will root for my "new team" whenever they are on TV. I will argue with the guys at work that my new team is the best, no matter how bad/good they are (this one is easy, remember I was a Leaf fan). The best part for me is now I can laugh at the Maple Laughs. Any money raised will be given to the Southlake Regional Cancer Center in Newmarket. PLEASE SOMEONE PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY LOL!!! No returns!! I will not go back to the Leafs!!"

What a load of utter goddamn bullshit. (Texas-sized bullshit) Seriously, if you can't fucking hang tough and stick with your fucking team, then for all intents and purposes, you're a fucking bandwagoner. (Never even got on the bandwagon) I've heard about selling your Leaf fandom for charity. It's a noble cause, but it's fucking rotten to the core. (Just ask the UpsetFan people. Jerks.) You say you can handle losing, then WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SELLING YOUR LOYALTY ON THE GODDAMN EBAY!? As a wise man once said, "What a shitload of fuck!"

As the Junior Director of Anti-Bandwagoning, I fully endorse any course of action against you. Oh and one more thing: If you can't handle the fucking fire, stay out of the goddamn kitchen, you fucking quitter.

Good riddance, you bandwagoning piece of shit. The Leafs Nation has no room for cheese-eating surrender monkeyshits like you. Have yourself a good day, and don't let the door hit you on the way out. KTHXBye.


Kavel Pubina
Junior Director of Anti-Bandwagoning

PPP Amalgamated Heavy Industries and
Puppy Sitting Service LLC


The Importance of Sticking With Your Team

Leafs Nation, I am pissed. But not about what's happening on the ice (FIRST WIN, WHOO!), but off it. Take a look at this Toronto Sun poll:

Answer: Hell to the No.

Seriously, this poll is utter B.S., and it shows that some people are simply bandwagon fans. Of course, a 0-7-1 start (that was laid to rest last night) is not really a good way to get someone to cheer for us, but still, what the hell? And on that note, shame on you, Toronto Sun, for even daring to ask this question.

Honestly, I am not afraid to say I'm standing by the Leafs, no matter what their record is. This simply put, is just plain disgusting. When the Leafs start to kick ass, I'm ready to laugh my ass off towards the very same bandwagon jumpers who are calling it quits early on. However, I praise the Leaf fans who have stuck through thus far and continue to Beleaf in their team. I salute you.

Leafs 6, Ducks 3: WE DID IT!!!!1

We Came, We Saw, We Kicked Ass.



The CCC #2: Mother-Nuckers (NSFW)

For every smart Leafs analyst there's an idiot that makes a complete ass of themselves by posting Comically Craptastic Comments about the Leafs. Now, it's time to take these guys down, one comment at a time.

Note: This edition of the CCC contains no trace of tampering whatsoever, so fuck off, Gillis.

Leafs Nation, I'm a hopeful man, even in these times of turbulence. But that doesn't mean I can't get pissed off every now and then about idiot fans. This is a special edition of the CCC, as we take a look (or a "Laff") at the idiocy that the Canucks fans have spewed in the wake of their team's 3-1 victory over our beloved Leafs. Of course with that win, the 'Nucks fans have come out of the woodwork and unleashed their pathetically inept B.S. all over comment pages. Brace yourselves, it's gonna get really shitty here. For the purpose of this article, I'll skip the Toronto papers' sites and focus on the complete and utter fail that Vancouver fans have subjected Leaf fans to.

First up, our friends over at Faceoff.com. Let's start with some Canuck-A-Schmuck "creatively" (well, as creative as Canucks fans can get...) named "Shenn Gets Pounded"

FEELHERBM We dont hate toronto we hate our tax dollars being manipulated to toronto and the teachers fund by pro leaf cbc and hired personal NOW WAS SHENN SCHOOLED AND NO OTHER LEAF EVEN CARED IT WAS GREAT HEEEE HAHHH

First up, what's with the poor literacy? Apparently, beating the Leafs gives Canucks fans brain damage. It's just too bad we didn't win, we probably could've saved a million Vancouverites from this gripping pandemic. That, and jizzing over Roberto "Madonna" Luongo. (Jim Hughson would be proud) Also, "Shenn Gets Pounded"? With a handle like that, you're sure to get invited to all the freak conventions in Vancouver, otherwise known as "Canucks Home Games".

More illiterate Vancouverite fun from "Shenn is No Hockey Player"

Prdiction Boston will trade high paying players.Take leafs draft picks fine tune and win cup in 3 years this from a hab fan.Yup leaf fans Burk
is smarter than Gainey.Burk is a good Gm he made CHIRELLIE better.Leaf fans when will youse wake up.Here come the idiot posters

I really have no idea what point he's trying to make here. I mean, it was nice of the BC government to close all those asylums, but it's so incoherent that my brain hurts from trying to analyze it. Also, I have no idea who the "Burk" or "Shenn" this plugger keeps referring to.

To end our Faceoff.com comments, here's a short and shit one from "Leafs Rule"

bad luck? haha, nice excuse! laffs are just plain bad.

If this were the Olympics, I'd give you a 3 for the shit-as-fuck spelling and a 2.5 for the lazy-as-fuck (even for Kyle Wellwood) use of the time-old cliche of "Laffs", which means you won't be displacing Mason Raymond from the podium in the new year.

TSN.ca brings us this comedy of ineptitude from "Canuckle_Sandwich":

Geez, I thought flames and oilers 'fans' were brutal! leafs 'fans' are making me rethink the WHINIEST AND MOST DILLUSIONAL 'FANS' in the league title. Thanks for all the laugh! I've enjoyed reading the posts this morning... IT'S LIKE MY COFFEE WAS BREWED WITH THE TEARS OF LEAFS NATION. LOL!

Considering that Vancouver fans spend an inordinate amount of time obsessing about Toronto, I'd say you're pretty much
an idiot. Plus, who the hell puts salt in their coffee, especially in Vancouver?

"Nuckleman" is the next Mother-Nucker to make his presence known with this asinine comment:

Canucks, the new hockey center of the world! The leafs should be demoted to the AHL after we walk all over them. The cup will be ours

See, this is just classic Mother-Nuckin' crappery at its worse right here. The only "cup" Vancouver is going to receive in the near future is the massive cup of icecream that Kyle Wellwood chokes down before practice. Also, "walk all over them", you might want to change that to "dive all over them" or else Mason Raymond will get jealous.

Behind enemy lines we go, as the Vancouver Province (failures at life) gives us some fucking terrible shit right here. First, let's go to "cdnkid"

I watched that so called hockey game tonight. What the hell is that! The leafs have to be the worst team I have ever watched. I would rather watch the Hartford Whalers Thank god The Canucks only play them twice a year. I can’t believe anyone in there right mind would pay to watch those useless *** night in and night out. I feel sorry for the fans. They actually think there is something to be proud of. *** for 42 years. Not even close. Oh I know you won a cup. That’s because there were only 5 teams to beat. To stupid draft any good players. No goaltending no defence and no one that can score. Not only that no prospects and no draft choices. The funny thing is they traded what looks like the first overall pick in 2010 for Kessel! a 60 point man plus a 2nd rounder and what will be no doubt the first over all pick in 2011. All because Burke is a yank and Kessel is a yank. Looks like another 40 years of ***. Good luck all you dumb ass maple leaf fans. Your going to need it.
Ps. Its going to be the 80’s all over again. When the fans show up with bags over there heads. Only this time the bags will be plastic so they can be put out of there misery.

This poor misfit suffers from a disease that's been diagnosed as "Nucks-itis,", a disorder which causes people diagnosed with it to ramble on and on without any fucking coherence whatsoever. Don't let this happen to you!

We've got more crappy comments from a surrender-monkey who calls himself "Yeah But":

Disregard my previous comment. I admit I'm a bitter Leafs fan. My club is atrocious and generally dysfunctional. Burke is an embarrassment and we're going nowhere once again. Even if we get the first draft pick next year we'll somehow blow that.
Vancouver indeed is superior to Toronto and I guess I've got to get used to it. The Leafs are where they belong.

"Bitter Leafs Fan"? Don't try to steal gimmicks, pal. Superior to Toronto? Fuck off. The only thing Van City is superior over us is in only one category: The highest douchebag quotient in Canada (eat it, Ottawa and Montreal!)
Not even the YouTubes are safe from the Canuckery, as demonstrated (fucking horribly, I might add) by this comment from "45skyfire"

so...to all those "Laff Nation" fans who claimed that this was gonna be the year the Maple "Laffs" were gonna do sumthin.....your right, they are....after all SOMEBODYS gotta be the worst team...worst start in franchise history!!!!...lets make it to 0-10 Maple "Losers"!!!....Go Canucks Go!!!

The insight of "45skyfire" (Probably the most emo Canuck fan around...) is fucking "genius" (By Vancouver standards, which are shit).
To conclude our cavalcade of Canucks crap comments, we go to Canada's broadcaster, CBC.ca, where "Whiskey Echo" shows us that it's important to be original:

A question for the so-called "Leafs Nation"...

What's the difference between the Toronto Maple Leafs and a triangle?

A triangle has 3 points.

MWAHAHAHAHA ! (Thanks to The Province for that gem.)

Ooookay, Whiskey. Keep sipping the Kool-Aid, it's obvious that it affects your ability to make a half-way decent joke.

That about wraps up the CCC's salute to the 7th Canuck.

Many thanks to Kidkawartha for assisting in the creation of this special salute. Until next time, 'Nucks fans, stay classy.

The CCC: Taking The Fight To The Idiots, One (Shitty) Comment At A Time.