2009-11-12

A Friendly Letter to Luke Schenn (NSFW?)

Slightly NSFW John F---ing Mitchell sez:
May contain NSFW language!


Dear Luke,

Hi! Long-time fan, (Since last season...) first time letter-sending person. I'm not here to yell at you or call you a bust for not playing up to your ability. And don't worry, this letter won't be as angry (or negative) as my other letters.

Let's get things straight, Luke. You're not playing to your ability. How? You're not hitting people, you're getting beat, getting caught flat-footed, and uncharacteristically falling down everywhere on the ice. And everyone's saying that you're on one of those damn sophomore slumps I keep hearing about. I also hear that you're allegedly playing injured. I say that's bullshit. You're not hurt, your confidence is just rattled, is all. And I don't blame you. However, I (as well as the Leafs Nation) cannot live with the fact that our golden boy, our future, the face of the Toronto Maple Leafs, is going to struggle all season long. With Mike Komisarek out for 3-4 weeks, it's time for the "old" Luke Schenn to re-assert himself and kick ass and take names. As the face of the franchise, it's time to take action.

We're one of the worst teams in the NHL, the whole damn league can't stop laughing at us, and it's time to do something about it, this "something", it's starts with you, Luke.

So goddamnit, Luke, start playing with that confidence and physical force that you willingly showed Leaf Nation last season. The very same confidence that made Leaf fans everywhere fall in love with you in the first place. I know you still have it in you, Luke, so unleash that fucking rage on Chicago this Friday, and don't let up, ever. We still believe, now make us proud.

Regards,
Kavel Pubina

P.S.: No pressure, kid, just work your magic.

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