2009-10-31

Leafs Picture Comics #10: Habs Halloween Hijinks


Mitchell: It's "Trick Or Treat, Smell My Feet", not "Hand"!
Habs Player: I MFFFMHHHHH KNFHGGGGHH!!!!!!!

Credit: AP/Yahoo!

Happy Halloween From Truculence is Everything.

2009-10-30

Leafs Picture Comics #9: Hangin' Out With XLB


Exelby: Woahh....that puck is crazay, man
Connoly: It's so round....that I can see everything.
Exelby: Yeaahhh..... I can see Russia from here!!!!!!
Connoly: Whoahhhh....the puck just told me to have sex with it....
Exelby: We've really got to stop getting high before the game.

Credit: Getty Images/Yahoo!

A Letter to Keswick Lee (NSFW)

NSFW Jiri Tlusty sez: May contain NSFW Language, mmkay?

Hey Keswick Lee,

How's it goin', Lee? How do you like the Dallas Stars? Hope you enjoy them, because you remind me of a certain player from there, y'know, Mike, big diver and shit. (Olympic-class diver) Well, Lee, I'm just writing to say one thing, and one thing only: Fuck off.

"I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!!! I have never seen the Stanley Cup come to Toronto (unless it is in the Hall of Fame) and the future looks just as bleak!! I can take losing (and actually cheer for it) if I think that it may benefit the team in the future. WELL with no first or second round pick in 2010 and no 2011 first round pick (yes you are welcome Boston) and VERY little on the way of prospects in system...it is time for me to bail. So I am putting my allegiance up for the highest bidder...just like the over paid underproducing Leaf free agents. I will remove all Leaf Memorablia from my home and replace it with the team of choice of the winning bidder. I will root for my "new team" whenever they are on TV. I will argue with the guys at work that my new team is the best, no matter how bad/good they are (this one is easy, remember I was a Leaf fan). The best part for me is now I can laugh at the Maple Laughs. Any money raised will be given to the Southlake Regional Cancer Center in Newmarket. PLEASE SOMEONE PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY LOL!!! No returns!! I will not go back to the Leafs!!"

What a load of utter goddamn bullshit. (Texas-sized bullshit) Seriously, if you can't fucking hang tough and stick with your fucking team, then for all intents and purposes, you're a fucking bandwagoner. (Never even got on the bandwagon) I've heard about selling your Leaf fandom for charity. It's a noble cause, but it's fucking rotten to the core. (Just ask the UpsetFan people. Jerks.) You say you can handle losing, then WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SELLING YOUR LOYALTY ON THE GODDAMN EBAY!? As a wise man once said, "What a shitload of fuck!"

As the Junior Director of Anti-Bandwagoning, I fully endorse any course of action against you. Oh and one more thing: If you can't handle the fucking fire, stay out of the goddamn kitchen, you fucking quitter.

Good riddance, you bandwagoning piece of shit. The Leafs Nation has no room for cheese-eating surrender monkeyshits like you. Have yourself a good day, and don't let the door hit you on the way out. KTHXBye.

Regards,

Kavel Pubina
Junior Director of Anti-Bandwagoning

PPP Amalgamated Heavy Industries and
Puppy Sitting Service LLC

2009-10-27

The Importance of Sticking With Your Team

Leafs Nation, I am pissed. But not about what's happening on the ice (FIRST WIN, WHOO!), but off it. Take a look at this Toronto Sun poll:


Answer: Hell to the No.

Seriously, this poll is utter B.S., and it shows that some people are simply bandwagon fans. Of course, a 0-7-1 start (that was laid to rest last night) is not really a good way to get someone to cheer for us, but still, what the hell? And on that note, shame on you, Toronto Sun, for even daring to ask this question.

Honestly, I am not afraid to say I'm standing by the Leafs, no matter what their record is. This simply put, is just plain disgusting. When the Leafs start to kick ass, I'm ready to laugh my ass off towards the very same bandwagon jumpers who are calling it quits early on. However, I praise the Leaf fans who have stuck through thus far and continue to Beleaf in their team. I salute you.


Leafs 6, Ducks 3: WE DID IT!!!!1

We Came, We Saw, We Kicked Ass.

GO LEAFS GO.

2009-10-25

The CCC #2: Mother-Nuckers (NSFW)


For every smart Leafs analyst there's an idiot that makes a complete ass of themselves by posting Comically Craptastic Comments about the Leafs. Now, it's time to take these guys down, one comment at a time.

Note: This edition of the CCC contains no trace of tampering whatsoever, so fuck off, Gillis.



Leafs Nation, I'm a hopeful man, even in these times of turbulence. But that doesn't mean I can't get pissed off every now and then about idiot fans. This is a special edition of the CCC, as we take a look (or a "Laff") at the idiocy that the Canucks fans have spewed in the wake of their team's 3-1 victory over our beloved Leafs. Of course with that win, the 'Nucks fans have come out of the woodwork and unleashed their pathetically inept B.S. all over comment pages. Brace yourselves, it's gonna get really shitty here. For the purpose of this article, I'll skip the Toronto papers' sites and focus on the complete and utter fail that Vancouver fans have subjected Leaf fans to.


First up, our friends over at Faceoff.com. Let's start with some Canuck-A-Schmuck "creatively" (well, as creative as Canucks fans can get...) named "Shenn Gets Pounded"




FEELHERBM We dont hate toronto we hate our tax dollars being manipulated to toronto and the teachers fund by pro leaf cbc and hired personal NOW WAS SHENN SCHOOLED AND NO OTHER LEAF EVEN CARED IT WAS GREAT HEEEE HAHHH


First up, what's with the poor literacy? Apparently, beating the Leafs gives Canucks fans brain damage. It's just too bad we didn't win, we probably could've saved a million Vancouverites from this gripping pandemic. That, and jizzing over Roberto "Madonna" Luongo. (Jim Hughson would be proud) Also, "Shenn Gets Pounded"? With a handle like that, you're sure to get invited to all the freak conventions in Vancouver, otherwise known as "Canucks Home Games".

More illiterate Vancouverite fun from "Shenn is No Hockey Player"


Prdiction Boston will trade high paying players.Take leafs draft picks fine tune and win cup in 3 years this from a hab fan.Yup leaf fans Burk
is smarter than Gainey.Burk is a good Gm he made CHIRELLIE better.Leaf fans when will youse wake up.Here come the idiot posters


I really have no idea what point he's trying to make here. I mean, it was nice of the BC government to close all those asylums, but it's so incoherent that my brain hurts from trying to analyze it. Also, I have no idea who the "Burk" or "Shenn" this plugger keeps referring to.

To end our Faceoff.com comments, here's a short and shit one from "Leafs Rule"

bad luck? haha, nice excuse! laffs are just plain bad.


If this were the Olympics, I'd give you a 3 for the shit-as-fuck spelling and a 2.5 for the lazy-as-fuck (even for Kyle Wellwood) use of the time-old cliche of "Laffs", which means you won't be displacing Mason Raymond from the podium in the new year.

TSN.ca brings us this comedy of ineptitude from "Canuckle_Sandwich":



Geez, I thought flames and oilers 'fans' were brutal! leafs 'fans' are making me rethink the WHINIEST AND MOST DILLUSIONAL 'FANS' in the league title. Thanks for all the laugh! I've enjoyed reading the posts this morning... IT'S LIKE MY COFFEE WAS BREWED WITH THE TEARS OF LEAFS NATION. LOL!


Considering that Vancouver fans spend an inordinate amount of time obsessing about Toronto, I'd say you're pretty much
an idiot. Plus, who the hell puts salt in their coffee, especially in Vancouver?

"Nuckleman" is the next Mother-Nucker to make his presence known with this asinine comment:

Canucks, the new hockey center of the world! The leafs should be demoted to the AHL after we walk all over them. The cup will be ours


See, this is just classic Mother-Nuckin' crappery at its worse right here. The only "cup" Vancouver is going to receive in the near future is the massive cup of icecream that Kyle Wellwood chokes down before practice. Also, "walk all over them", you might want to change that to "dive all over them" or else Mason Raymond will get jealous.

Behind enemy lines we go, as the Vancouver Province (failures at life) gives us some fucking terrible shit right here. First, let's go to "cdnkid"


I watched that so called hockey game tonight. What the hell is that! The leafs have to be the worst team I have ever watched. I would rather watch the Hartford Whalers Thank god The Canucks only play them twice a year. I can’t believe anyone in there right mind would pay to watch those useless *** night in and night out. I feel sorry for the fans. They actually think there is something to be proud of. *** for 42 years. Not even close. Oh I know you won a cup. That’s because there were only 5 teams to beat. To stupid draft any good players. No goaltending no defence and no one that can score. Not only that no prospects and no draft choices. The funny thing is they traded what looks like the first overall pick in 2010 for Kessel! a 60 point man plus a 2nd rounder and what will be no doubt the first over all pick in 2011. All because Burke is a yank and Kessel is a yank. Looks like another 40 years of ***. Good luck all you dumb ass maple leaf fans. Your going to need it.
Ps. Its going to be the 80’s all over again. When the fans show up with bags over there heads. Only this time the bags will be plastic so they can be put out of there misery.



This poor misfit suffers from a disease that's been diagnosed as "Nucks-itis,", a disorder which causes people diagnosed with it to ramble on and on without any fucking coherence whatsoever. Don't let this happen to you!

We've got more crappy comments from a surrender-monkey who calls himself "Yeah But":



Disregard my previous comment. I admit I'm a bitter Leafs fan. My club is atrocious and generally dysfunctional. Burke is an embarrassment and we're going nowhere once again. Even if we get the first draft pick next year we'll somehow blow that.
Vancouver indeed is superior to Toronto and I guess I've got to get used to it. The Leafs are where they belong.



"Bitter Leafs Fan"? Don't try to steal gimmicks, pal. Superior to Toronto? Fuck off. The only thing Van City is superior over us is in only one category: The highest douchebag quotient in Canada (eat it, Ottawa and Montreal!)
Not even the YouTubes are safe from the Canuckery, as demonstrated (fucking horribly, I might add) by this comment from "45skyfire"

so...to all those "Laff Nation" fans who claimed that this was gonna be the year the Maple "Laffs" were gonna do sumthin.....your right, they are....after all SOMEBODYS gotta be the worst team...worst start in franchise history!!!!...lets make it to 0-10 Maple "Losers"!!!....Go Canucks Go!!!


The insight of "45skyfire" (Probably the most emo Canuck fan around...) is fucking "genius" (By Vancouver standards, which are shit).
To conclude our cavalcade of Canucks crap comments, we go to Canada's broadcaster, CBC.ca, where "Whiskey Echo" shows us that it's important to be original:


A question for the so-called "Leafs Nation"...

What's the difference between the Toronto Maple Leafs and a triangle?

A triangle has 3 points.

MWAHAHAHAHA ! (Thanks to The Province for that gem.)



Ooookay, Whiskey. Keep sipping the Kool-Aid, it's obvious that it affects your ability to make a half-way decent joke.

That about wraps up the CCC's salute to the 7th Canuck.


Many thanks to Kidkawartha for assisting in the creation of this special salute. Until next time, 'Nucks fans, stay classy.




The CCC: Taking The Fight To The Idiots, One (Shitty) Comment At A Time.




Post Game Report: Leafs 1, 'Nuckers 3

The Leafs lost yet again, this time a 3-1 setback to their imaginary Left Coast rivals, the Vancouver Canucks. 0-7-1, ladies and gentlemen.

The Good
- To be honest, the Leafs deserved this victory. Aside from the 6 straight penalties (more on that below...), they thoroughly outplayed the 'Nuckers, who got a "Hall-of-Fame" (if you ask Jim Hughson) performance from Roberto Luongo (LUUUUONGGGOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!).
- The penalty kill was alright. Granted they did allow two goals, but they were pretty much solid for tonight.
- Luke Schenn was frickin' aggressive tonight. Granted he did get clobbered by 'Nucks plugger Tanner Glass (GLAAAAAASSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!), he had a much more physical game tonight.
- Joey Joe Joe Shabadoo MacDonald was ace tonight. Those two goals he let in were not his fault, and he had 22 saves on 24 shots. Good effort from him.
- Garnet Exelby was half-way decent tonight. Please play like this more often, XLB.
- On that note, Mike Komisarek was great tonight, too. He did figure into a 'Nucks goal, but he was pretty much alright.

The Bad
- The goddamn stupid penalties. I know a few of them were dubious (Ian White's supposed high-stick on Mason "Olympic Diver" Raymond [RAYYYYMOOOOOOOONDD!!!!!!!!!!!] being one of them...), but srsly Leafs, stop with the stupid consecutive penalties. You can't win games if you keep taking shitty penalties.
- Truculence??? Where the hell is it? My blog has more truculence than them right now. Come on, Maple Leafs, start f---ing up the other team with big hits, damnit!
- Finishing their attack. The problem right now with the Leafs, is that they don't have good finishers on their team. Hopefully the arrival of Phil Kessel takes care of that problem.
- The Refereeing. And I thought the judging at last night's UFC 104 was bad. (Machida won when Shogun pwned him? Bullshit!) The refs totally missed a Canucks gloving the puck in the crease. That should've been a penalty shot.
- Once again the Leafs allow the first goal of the game. That shouldn't happen anymore.

All in all, a moral victory for the Leafs. They need to work their asses off for the full 60 minutes. Next game is Monday against the Anaheim Ducks. I'll have the Leaf Picture Comic on Tuesday, seeing as it's a late game. However, the next edition of the CCC will be up tomorrow. 'Til next time, Leaf Nation, stay truculent.

2009-10-24

Leafs Picture Comics #6: Mason Raymond, Olympic Diver


"Vancouver's really playing the 'Olympic' thing heavy this year..."
"Greg Louganis coaching Mason Raymond, Michael Phelps as Kyle Wellwood’s nutritionist…"

Caption Courtesy of: puckurgently from PensionPlanPuppets.com

Photo Credit: AP/Yahoo!

2009-10-23

A Letter To Vancouver, The Canucks, And Their Fans (NSFW)

WARNING: May contain some NSFW Language.

With apologies to Jaredoflondon...

Dear Vancouverites,

I saw this today, and I have to shake my head:

http://www.vancouversun.com/sports/Send+your+Toronto+Maple+Leafs+jokes/2133365/story.html

And I have to say, your complete and utter obsession with Toronto and our beloved Maple Leafs is just astounding. (More like pathetic). So do us (and all of Canada for that matter) a favor and shut your fucking pie-holes (Mmmm....pie)! No one gives a crap about your hatred of Toronto, so just cut it out, you bastards. The Canucks are a great time, I'll admit. But you, their fans are nothing but a bunch of bitter assholes who just can't shut up about the goddamn Leafs. Case in point:

http://vancouver.24hrs.ca/Sports/hockey/2009/10/23/11499726-sun.html

Vancouver fans get a chance to see Leafs suck

What the hell is that!? That's the reason why no one gives a fuck about the Canucks (besides Calgary, aka "Vancouver East"). You don't see us (or even the goddamn Habs and SNES fans) writing shit articles about you guys for no apparent reason. You guys are like that bully at school who acts all tough, but no one gives two fucking fucks about you (actually, one fucking fuck).

Again, do us all a favor and stop fucking bitching about the Leafs! Also, STFU. KTHXBye.

Signed,
Kavel Pubina

2009-10-20

Hope in The Absence of Light

"We've hit rock bottom"
-- Lee Stempniak on the Leafs' miserable start

0-6-1. 30th in the entire NHL. Dead last in goals allowed. Only one point in seven games. Ugly, ain't it?

It's been a crappy start for the Toronto Maple Leafs (correction: a fucking terrible start), and yet I still believe that it'll get better. Why?

It's because that no team can't lose every single game of one given season (unless you're the Detroit Lions.) Also, because it comes with the territory of being a Leaf fan. You stick by your team, goddamnit, no matter how good or horibbly shitty they get. And damnit, these are truly, horibbly shitty times. Our heroes are underperforming, deities have become mortal, and our "Monster" of a goalie still is hurt. It feels like the whole damn world is laughing at us, but it will get better, trust me. You just have to soldier on, no matter what.

In these times of supposed "panic", where is the hope? I'll tell you where the hope is, the hope is with fans like Almo89:

"DONT PANIC The ship will not sunk, our head are above the water, and we can still reach the Canadian Club. There is still hope, not the kind we can grab, but the kind we know is there waiting for us some call it destiny I call it being a Leafs fan. We just need to remember one thing the world will still be there tomorrow. We know this because deep down our hearts are filled and joined by single unifying force, something so powerful that together we are unstoppable: BELEAF and because of that we can never be truly defeated. GO LEAFS GO"

And I'll tell you, the "Truculence" that Brian Burke is trumpeting, it is not with the staged fights or hitting the other team till they hurt (or lack thereof...), it's with the true fans. The true fans of Leaf Nation that stick with their team through hell and back. The fans that do not abandon ship even in the Leafs' darkest hour. And goddamnit, these fans, they're the ones that show the real Truculence. For that, I salute you, the true fans.

So in this, the Leafs Nation's darkest hour, I can tell you this, or I'll let fellow PensionPlanPuppets.com member "Vent" sum it all up here:

"I’m doing the only thing one can do when things get this low:
Putting my head down, not looking back, and powering through the entire god-damned season if I have to. I’m a Leaf fan. It’s what I do.

They’re my team. I’m not giving up on them; not now, nor ever."

Amen, amigo. The light at the end of the tunnel is coming, Leaf Nation. Just hold on, it will get better, trust me. :D


"...When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world - 'No, you move.'"

2009-10-19

Comically Craptastic Comments #1

For every smart Leafs analyst there's an idiot that makes a complete ass of themselves by posting Comically Craptastic Comments about the Leafs. Now, it's time to take these guys down, one comment at a time.

Welcome to Truculence is Everything's newest feature, Comically Craptastic Comments (new name pending, comment suggestions below, please?). On PensionPlanPuppets.com, "kidkawartha" does "Mouth-Breathers Anonymous", a feature where he dives into the wasteland of thought known as the "Comment" pages on sports websites. He does a great job, but even the best need some help, so I'm here to provide it. Let's get right into some fail, Nation.

Faceoff.com brings us this "brilliant" insight from a poster named "Tim."
"Thanks Leaves for the #1 draft pick next year and the year after that, enjoy Kessel. Go Bruins Go!!!"
"Leaves"? Ugh. It's a long season, buddy. Don't start dreaming over Taylor Hall and whoever the hell is in the draft next season. We will be enjoying Kessel, my friend, when he scores in bunches, and gets a hat-trick on the Bruins in his first game against them.

Next up, TSN.ca's laugher of a comments section for the Leafs/Rangers game. Featuring "MaxPower77" and his "insightful" thoughts on Luke Schenn.

"Looks like playing dodgeball in practice didn't have the desired effect. Maybe the Leafs can play Red Rover or Hopscotch instead? Another -2 game for Schenn... It looks like the Leafs have continued their tradition of drafting busts in the first round"
Schenn's a bust because he's struggling a bit early on in the season and because of his plus/minus!? Ridiculous. If it were like that, then Tampa Bay should know that Steve Stamkos is a bust because he was a -2 on Saturday against Pittsburgh. The lack of logic just baffles me."MaxPower", more like "NoPower"!

Let's go next to the new (and not-so improved) TheStar.com and this gem from "JohnnyBgood". What he has to say is anything but "good"...
"Forfeit the remaining games and save the embarrassment. You will not win a game this season the way you are playing. "
What. The. Hell!? Forfeit!? I don't know what else to say other than: You're out of your goddamn mind.

Back to TSN we go, as "ridersby10" gives us his "thoughts" on the Leafs and Jim Hughson. (If you can call them that...)
"The guy that I feel bad for is Jim Hughson - hands down, the best play-by-play guy around. Fans at least have a chance to switch off the TV when the Leafs play...poor old Jim has to watch/call the whole thing"
Feel bad for him? I think Hughson is too busy going all Pierre McGuire on the other teams' stars to even pay attention to the Leafs. If anything, you should feel sorry for the viewers, who have to endure his weekly love-in.

More TSN fun with "PuckHog7" and his thoughts on Schenn:
"Luke Schenn = PYLON. What a bust."
So much fail for a six word statement. To be fair, though, who the hell listens to a guy who calls himself "PuckHog7"? I bet he barely gets aany respect on his rec league team.

To end our first voyage into crap, this time from TorontoSun.com and "Get your Burkey Dogs here" with yet another rant on Schenn:
"Another good night of comedy. These losers may not win a game all season. Schenn is pathetic to all you Leaf lovers. He is getting shell shocked out there and his skills are starting to really show. But you all will turn a blind eye saying he should be captain, what a joke."
BWUH!? The comedy wasn't on the ice, it's with this one damn comment, pal. Irrationally attacking Luke Schenn? Thats' a foul. Mentioning the words "Schenn" and "Pathetic" in the same breath? Another foul. He's lucky that Schenn doesn't go around and read random internet comments about him. Otherwise, "Burkey Dogs" here would be a smoldering pile of nothing. I'm not even gonna go on with the rest of this comment. It's that f--ing terrible.

That'll do it for the first edition of the CCC (or a better name, please leave some suggestions in the comments below!). I'm not going to add a quote here at the end like I usually do, but I leave you with this: If an idiot said "Leafs Suck" and no-one's around? Who the f--k cares!?

2009-10-17

Leafs Picture Comics #5: Get Some Wood On It

"I thought when Burkie was talking about Truculence, it was a synonym for Flatulence.... FML"

Submitted by: Cuffer from Pension Plan Puppets

Photo Credit: Yahoo!/Getty Images

Leafs Game Day Preview - N.Y, Rangers @ Leafs

Tonight's Hockey Night in Canada matchup sees your Toronto Maple Leafs hosting the New York Rangers. The Leafs are currently in a 6 game losing streak, and have not won a game thus far in the season. One of the six losses came on Monday in New York, when the Rangers shellacked Toronto 7-2.

Matt Stajan and Niklas Hagman are expected to be back in the Leafs lineup after the two of them were healthy scratches in the Leafs' 4-1 loss to Colorado on Tuesday. Joey "Joe Joe Junior Shabadoo" MacDonald and James Reimer are expected to be the goalies in the lineup today, since Jonas "The Monster" Gustavsson and Vesa Toskala are still injured.

After this game, Toronto will have a full week bye as their next action will come next Saturday against the Vancouver Canucks.

Keys to Victory
- Stop Their Stars. New York's Marian Gaborik and Vaclav "Do Call Me Vinny" Prospal are on fire, notching 10 points thus far. The Leafs will have to find ways to stop their offensive production tonight.
- No Dumb Penalties. The recurring theme in the Leafs' 6 game losing streak seems to be taking stupid penalties. Toronto cannot afford to take these penalties, especially if they start building momentum. (Mike Komisarek, I'm -a looking at you.)
- Better All Around Effort. That means play hard all game long. The Leafs shouldn't just bring it to the Rags for one period then retreat for the next. A sustained, consistent effort is necessary if the Leafs desire a victory tonight.

My Prediction: 4-2 Leafs win their first game of the season.

I'll have the LPC and Post-Game Thoughts later tonight (if not, then tomorrow).


Your Pre-Game Inspirational Quote


" Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out."

Robert Collier

2009-10-15

To Stop A Slump: The Problems and The Solutions

There was an "interesting" article in today's Toronto Star that listed five reasons for the Leafs' current 0-5-1 start. I have my own solutions and problems to fix this mess, but before I get there, let me talk about The Star's thoughts on the slump, in particular, three of the five problems they listed.

Full Article: http://www.thestar.com/sports/hockey/nhl/mapleleafs/article/710472

Goaltending
The Star's Take
"Vesa Toskala has come up lame, but his knee injury has nothing to do with his horrible performance. Joey MacDonald wasn't much better. Goalies giving up soft goals, early goals, or goals right after the Leafs score, have a demoralizing effect."

Another Take
It's hard not to dispute with Toskala's failure to be a halfway-decent goalie thus far, and I do agree with The Star on MacDonald to a certain extent, he did look much better than Vesa in his game against Colorado on Tuesday.

Leadership
The Star's Take
"Nobody wears the C. They were browbeaten by Wilson that none in the room last year were worthy of being a leader, and perhaps now they believe it. Wilson's word is gospel. But once Wilson leaves the room, who takes over?"


Another Take
So far, no one's proven their worth as Captain on the Leafs. Now, I don't have any insider info about the Leafs' locker-room dealings on, but I can tell you what I think. Luke Schenn, who many have pegged as the next Leaf captain, still has much to learn, and has his own problems to deal with (his "sophomore slump") I know Tomas Kaberle has had the "A" for most of his career in Toronto, he really isn't captain material. He's a damn good defenceman and all, but I'm not too sure he's got the mettle to wear the "C" on that jersey. Mike Komisarek spends way too much time in the penalty box, and hasn't really stepped up yet. So, who the hell leads the team?

Toughness ("Truculence")
The Star's Take
"...the Leafs are anything but tough. Forwards don't go to the net. They skate the perimeter and take shots from 40 feet. Few take a hit to make a play. When they do make a hit, it's usually a defenceman who has left himself out of position."

Another Take
Over on PensionPlanPuppets.com, a user by the handle of "Fleet Fox" posted a statistical analysis on how the Leafs supposed "toughness" hasn't really come to play, and at times, has been a negative factor. In response, I said the following, "Plus, we’ve really got to use the fights and hitting to change our momentum. So far, we’ve failed to actually capitalize on any momentum shifts brought upon by fights and hits. It seems that we cower away and let the other team take the game right after a show of physical strength. That needs to change."


My Solutions
- Stop giving ice-time to undeserving players. It baffles me that guys like Garnet Exelby, Jason Blake, and Matt Stajan continually get ice-time, despite underperforming. (To be fair, Stajan did get benched on Tuesday...). If players like them or anyone's under-achieving, give 'em a benching, and give ice-time to deserving players.
- Better coaching. Look, I think that Ron Wilson is a damn good coach, but I have to disagree with Leafs GM Brian Burke insisting that it's the players' fault, and not the coach's, for the losing. I don' t know whether if it's just Wilson/Burke putting all their focus on Team USA's 2010 Winter Games preparation, or something else, Coach Wilson needs to get his act together, and fast.
- A locker-room leader. I've said before that I don't have access to the Leafs' locker-room, but even I know that there needs to be a voice willing to speak for the players to Coach Wilson. It's not time for a captain, yet, but a player with enough courage to rally his troops could be future captain material.
-
Offensive Pressure, Damnit! Our offense just plain sucks. For one thing, guys like Blake and Mikhail Grabovski keep taking low-percentage shots, and our offense just won't drive the puck into the net. Our offense can't simply wait for Phil Kessel to "fix" everything, they need to start showing some confidence in their game.
- DEE-FENSE!!!1 Our supposedly improved defense has pretty much stunk. Francois Beauchemin's not playing to his strengths, Mike Komisarek's not helping either, and Garnet Exelby is pretty much useless. Meanwhile, Luke Schenn seems to be struggling a bit. My solution? Change up the pairings! Put Schenn and Komisarek together, for instance. Let Beauchemin pair up with Tomas Kaberle, and so on.
-
Youth Movement. Viktor Stalberg has proven he belongs in the big leagues. So, rather than playing the veterans who seem to play with no heart, the Leafs' braintrust should consider calling up some Marlies. We saw a bit of that when they called Tyler Bozak up for Tuesday's game, we need to see more. Guys like Carl Gunnarsson and Jiri Tlusty, should get chances to prove they belong.
-
Special Team (or "How To Fix the PK"). Our power-play seems to be alright, but the penalty kill isn't. The Leafs' penalty killers have been nothing short of awful. For one thing, they just sit back and let the opposition's power-play run over them. That needs to change. They need to be more aggressive on the puck-carriers, block more shots, and most importantly, get that puck out of the zone.
-
The Goaltending "Problem". Easy. There is no goaltending problem. Just go with Jonas Gustavsson in net, with Joey MacDonald as back-up. As for Toskala? Send him down to the AHL for further conditioning. If all else fails with him, send him to another team.

It'll take a lot of work for the Leafs to return to their winning ways, but when it's all said and done, it will be worth it. As for the Leaf Nation, we can only wait to see what happens next.

"It's always darkest before the dawn."
--- Unknown




2009-10-14

Your Random (and Positive) Thought of The Day

In light of the supposed two weeks of "turmoil", I've decide to post this one quote to lighten the move, and instill some hope into Leaf Nation.

"Doesn't matter what the press says. Doesn't matter what the politicians or the mobs say. Doesn't matter if the whole country decides that something wrong is something right. This nation was founded on one principle above all else: the requirement that we stand up for what we believe, no matter the odds or the consequences. When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world - "No, you move.""
Keep Beleafing, Leaf Nation. It's gonna get better.

2009-10-13

Double Whammy Thoughts: Never Lose Hope

Leafs @ NYR
And I thought the Pittsburgh game was terrible. The Leafs somehow manage to outsuck themselves with an embarrassing 7-2 loss to the New York Rangers. Jeeze. The second period was all us, and yet, the Leafs completely fumble the third period, surrendering four unanswered goals.

The Good
- The aforementioned second period, where we outplayed the Rangers.
- Hagman-Grabovski-Kulemin clicked all night long.
- Luke Schenn look at least decent tonight. Better than his previous outings.

The Bad
- Usual slow starts. How ugly.
- More needless penalties. For the love of Gilmour, taking stupid penalties is not being truculent, goddamnit!
- Jason Blake. What the hell, man! Start playing better, I'm not giving you anymore free rides.
- Matt Stajan. What a terrible performance from this guy.
- Vesa Toskala. To quote coach Ron Wilson, "There were a couple of times we could have used a key save."


Avs@Leafs
Movin' on to tonight's game against the rejuvinated Colorado Avalanche, it was no better than last night, as the Leafs lost it 4-1 to the Avs. Craig Anderson, you are for real.

The Good
- Tyler Bozak looked pretty good. Even registered his first NHL point.
- Viktor Stalberg looked great in his first game back.
- When he had to, Joey MacDonald made some good saves.
- The third period effort was good, unfortunately no goals.
- Ian White was great. Especially when he played goaltender on Colorado's first PP.

The Bad
- Mike Komisarek. Jesus. Enough with the stupid penalties. If it weren't for that one penalty that led to Darcy Tucker's goal in the second, we probably wouldn't have lost this game. Get your head in the game, son.
- Garnet Exelby. Why did we sign this guy anyway? We could've called up Jonas Frogren or even Carl Gunnarsson in place of Finger, but why does XLB keep getting chances?
- The penalty kill. It could've been better, especially in the second period. The defence need to give their goaltender some support instead of falling back.

To sum it all up, It's only 6 games. and I still have hope the Leafs will turn it around and play like we've hope them to play. 76 games is a long time for things to change for the better. So, relax Leaf Nation. It's not time to panic, contrary to what the MSM have been saying about this team. Besides, I'd rather start like this than start hot then fizzle midway through the season. So, I'm not losing faith in this team, and neither should you, Leaf Nation. We just need a to believe in a miracle to win. So, until next time, Go Leafs Go, and I'm going to leave you now with this quote:


"
Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude."

--- Thomas Jefferson

Leafs Picture Comics #4: What 's That Stinkin' Smell?

Evidently, Garnet Exelby wasn't the only thing that smelled like crap tonight....

Credit: Yahoo!/Getty Images


2009-10-12

Leafs Picture Comics #3: I ARE SRS LEAF


"Hey Brashear, this is mah serious face."

Credit: Yahoo!/Getty Images


Thoughts on the game to come later.

2009-10-11

Some Truculent Thoughts About Last Night's Game

Ugh. Just frickin' ugh.

It's games like these that make a guy just want to get all RAAAGGGEEEEE!!!!!!! and stuff.

Long story short, the Leafs flat out stunk tonight against Sidney Crosby and the Pittsburgh Crosb---erm---Penguins. They lost 5-2, to extend the losing streak to 4 games. Damn it all to hell.


The Bad News

- The penalty kill. More like the penalty fail. Pittsburgh's power play went 3-5 on our asses. It was as ugly as it sounds.
- Needless penalties. There's difference between truculence and being just plain stupid. Taking dumb penalties right after your team scores is just terrible.
- Jason Blake. Goddamnit, son, start playing like you did for the second half of the season last year. Jesus.
- Matt Stajan. Was that penalty after we scored really necessary!? And also, his overall game wasn't good.
- Vesa Toskala. Better than the past few starts, but not by much. Still stunk in net. Crosby scoring on him reminds me of that Gatorade commercial from awhile back. Hey Coach Wilson, maybe it's time to give Joey MacDonald some starts? He looked good in his pre-season starts...
- The scoring lines aren't scoring. They can't really be called "scoring lines" if they don't score. Seriously.

Overall, not much to like about this game. Phil Kessel, we await your arrival.

The TiE Video Link of the Day: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sipnRgt3To

Pretty much sums it all up for me.

2009-10-10

Leafs Picture Comics #2: Toskalol, Indeed.

When I said Vesa Toskala looked up to the Penguins, I didn't mean it like that...

Credit: Yahoo!/Associated Press

2009-10-09

Spezza v. Neil: The Sissy Fight to End All Sissy Fights

per. www.pensionplanpuppets.com:

Rotoworld is reporting that Ottawa Senators Jason Spezza and Chris Neil "fought" each other at practice today.

No word on whether the contents of their purses were spilled during the incident.


Truculence is Everything's got the first pictures coming out of Scotiabank Place of the scuffle. We warn you that it contains graphic violence, so hide the children.



Truly, a brutal fight.